5 rules for solving conflicts
Conflicts between colleagues can greatly influence the atmosphere at work.
The first reaction is often to avoid the colleague in question. This however does not solve the problem. Quick action is the message.
Here are five rules that can help you:
1. Take a distance
Before you take any action, it is important to take a distance from your first interpretations, often colored by your emotions. This way you can see the situation clear. Try to find the origin of the conflict.
2. Ask for an interview
Explain why you want to talk with him or her. Ask if it would be appropriate to have such a conversation. Explain that the talking is to establish a solution that is positive for both of you.
3. Speak from the I-form
Watch your language. Try to use the I-form, if you are revealing the problem. Do not say "You never gave me the necessary order on time." But "If I don’t get the order in time, I can’t finish the order." Talk about facts. By doing so, you don’t question the person, but his attitude or behavior at a certain point in a given situation. Avoid words like never, always, ... Such words block often any possibility of positive communication to find a way out.
4. Listen to the views of you colleague
The purpose of the discussion is finding a solution. The talking should be constructive. Search together for a tangible agreement and make sure that the content is clear for both. If your colleague does not respond, do not hesitate to increase his involvement, for example by asking him what he thinks, whether he agrees with you?
5. Ask for help
As a third party for help if after several attempts a conversation leads nowhere. That person could be your boss. Explain him / her what you have already done towards your colleagues and what your expectations are. Try to find a solution. Your company may have a prevention counselor who can act as a mediator.
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Conflicts between colleagues can greatly influence the atmosphere at work.
The first reaction is often to avoid the colleague in question. This however does not solve the problem. Quick action is the message.
Here are five rules that can help you:
1. Take a distance
Before you take any action, it is important to take a distance from your first interpretations, often colored by your emotions. This way you can see the situation clear. Try to find the origin of the conflict.
2. Ask for an interview
Explain why you want to talk with him or her. Ask if it would be appropriate to have such a conversation. Explain that the talking is to establish a solution that is positive for both of you.
3. Speak from the I-form
Watch your language. Try to use the I-form, if you are revealing the problem. Do not say "You never gave me the necessary order on time." But "If I don’t get the order in time, I can’t finish the order." Talk about facts. By doing so, you don’t question the person, but his attitude or behavior at a certain point in a given situation. Avoid words like never, always, ... Such words block often any possibility of positive communication to find a way out.
4. Listen to the views of you colleague
The purpose of the discussion is finding a solution. The talking should be constructive. Search together for a tangible agreement and make sure that the content is clear for both. If your colleague does not respond, do not hesitate to increase his involvement, for example by asking him what he thinks, whether he agrees with you?
5. Ask for help
As a third party for help if after several attempts a conversation leads nowhere. That person could be your boss. Explain him / her what you have already done towards your colleagues and what your expectations are. Try to find a solution. Your company may have a prevention counselor who can act as a mediator.
Return to the news page
